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Thinking about an abortion - afraid of our finances

Spørgsmål:

My husband and I are married for a year. We live in Copenhagen. I am from Macedonia and he is a Dane from Frederikshavn (moved to Cph 6 months ago). I am in Denmark for 5 months now.

It has been very difficult time for me, because I have not managed to get a job within my profession and do not have any friends or family here in Denmark. Sometimes I have been feeling very depressed, and we have had some really tough times.

A week ago my pregnancy test was positive. It has been a month since my last period. None of us is sure about what to do. I don´t feel well because I am not working and if we keep this baby I will not be able to work next two years. I am afraid of our finances. It is not easy to survive in Cph, when only one person is working. I am  not allowed to receive any social assistance in DK. My husband is worried about my mental condition. Being at home every day with a kid, without friends and family to give you some support, can be very difficult to handle.

We were planning to have a baby, but not now. Maybe in 2 or 3 years, when we settle down. It also has been everything new for him in Cph, and all his friend and family are on Jutland. I am also afraid if we stop this pregnancy now, that we could regret one day in the future if we would not be able to have children.

I have read that (medical) abortion has some side effects including death in a very rare cases. I am 30 and he is 33 years old. What should we do?

Svar:

Hello
You are married and pregant. You and your husband want to have a baby, but not now. It’s not easy for you to be in Denmark, without job or family. If you get an abortion, and have a baby in 2 years, you would still not have your family here. But perhaps job and friends. You are afraid of Your finances. Talk about your opportunities. You could find a cheeper place to live. A child doesn’t have to be that expensive. Have you spoken to Socialforvaltningen about help, if you have a baby? Can your husbands family help you? Abortlinien might help you with things and practical help.

Your husband is worried about your mental condition. Talk about how you think, an abortion will effect you? You are afraid, you migth regret an abortion. Many womens regret their abortion. You and your husband can read in Abortliniens brevkasse about others womens experience with abortion. And talk about, how you think, a baby will effect you?

In Denmark there are many opportunities for mothers to meet with other mothers and babies.
You both have a fine age to become parents.

You and your husband are welcome to call Abortlinien 48394848, and you can write again to post@abortlinien.dk

Hope the best for you.
Greetings Trine Holst Nielsen, nurse